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BeitragThema: 15. Dezember   Do 15 Dez 2016 - 14:54


Presents are there to make others happy. Sometimes you can surprise people with them.
And sometimes you don’t. That’s life, didn’t you know?

Hello Reader.
Christmas is even nearer now. I can feel it, because the Christmas creatures are constantly poking me. And the nearer Christmas is,
the more poking I feel. You can’t usually see those creatures, because they are pretty good at hiding and disguising.
But we all know about their existence and the little screams at night are almost like a lullaby in my ears now.

The following part is an exclusive message to Mr. Santa:
Don’t use the chimneys this year. The town upgraded the chimneys with interdimensional portals. At first that was just a test run
and we wanted to remove the portals after 2 weeks of testing. But the city council had to face a few ‘complications’
with the removal of them and that’s why we let those portals inside the chimneys. You have to use the windows or the trapdoors below,
to enter the houses this year. We are deeply sorry for making your life harder that way, but Christmas won’t be Christmas
if you’d go off to another dimension, where the sun is cold, the moon is ugly and average lights pass overhead while we all pretend to actually work.
That would be terrible.

And now health tips:
Christmas is the time for being very happy. But it also is the time for your deepest depressions. So if you feel like having depressions,
then choose the 24th of December to welcome them back to you empty heart. If it’s too much for you
or if you’re done with that you can just devour your heart. Skip the rituals with the altar and the candles.
Do it the easy way by just ripping it out, without hesitating and eat it all up. Yumm!
With that you don’t have to care about a Christmas dinner anymore. Everything is settled with that.

If you are a pet owner be sure that your pets are always with you during the holidays.
Be careful! Every year around the Christmas holidays something is coming back to town and we still have no idea what it actually is.
We only know for sure, that it will take your pets with you, if you’re not paying enough attention. So the best thing to do is: Grab your pet.
Maybe more than one. So in that case grab all your pets and pull them close to you. Cuddle the cuddliest emotion you ever had out of them
and never let go till the holidays are over.
I repeat this important message: Be careful.
Take care of you pets out there. Merry Christmas everyone!

You want to have a very special Christmas this year? Grab a banana and hot coffee! Nothing will soothe your soul more
than the combination of those two things. Believe me. It’s going to me awesome! And with that I can send you off to Christmas
and the following holidays! Hot Coffee! Gotta love it.

Merry Christmas, Reader. Merry Christmas!





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